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This week is Maternal Mental Health Matters Week 2018. With more than 1 in 10 mums developing a mental illness during pregnancy or in the year that follows it is becoming increasingly important that we raise awareness of maternal mental health and encourage those who are struggling with their emotions to speak out and get the support they need.
 
Pregnancy is rife with emotional and hormonal changes and these can really affect the way you feel on a daily basis. This can mean one day you are really excited, but the next you are left anxious and worried. Although this is completely normal, particularly in the first trimester as pregnancy hormones are changing and increasing it can be really difficult to deal with. These changes can be more challenging for first time mums who have never experienced pregnancy before and aren’t aware of what to expect. The extreme mood swings that couple these changes can also be damaging to your relationships with those closest to you and this in turn can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness.
 
I suffered with depression after my first child was born. He was a December baby and I don’t think the winter months helped the situation, but I do think the signs were there early on now looking back. However, I hadn’t identified the signs and didn’t talk to anyone about how I was feeling. Out of my group of friends I was the first to have a child, I didn’t have a mum around for support and although my friends were there for me and would always have listened to me if I had needed their love and support, they didn’t really know what it was like. After all I was supposed to be the happiest I had ever been, welcoming a child in to the world.
 
I ignored the signs initially, especially after the birth. I had heard about the ‘baby blues’ but I knew when the feelings persisted that it was more than that and soon enough others could see too, I couldn’t keep up the pretence.  It wasn’t just the birth of my son that led to all this, there were many other things going on at the time but postnatal depression can creep up on anyone at any time for many reasons. One thing many new mums experience is loneliness. According to a report by the British Red Cross, young motherhood can be just as lonely as divorce or bereavement.  The difficulty is that not enough mums are honest about their feelings or their daily struggles. Although, for some of us, our entry in to motherhood is unequivocally the loneliest, most difficult experience of our lives. The experience of the expectation versus the reality is a shock in itself. Perfect filtered snaps all over Facebook and Instagram versus the reality of exploding nappies and overly greasy hair and a wobbly tum! I felt like I hadgone from doing well in the workplace to suddenly floundering in the foreign world of motherhood, lost in a mist of sleep deprivation and wondering what on earth had just happened. Something I expected to have come so naturally to me, but was actually so difficult and physically and mentally exhausting. These feelings alone were isolating.  Although I loved my new baby, some days I felt I was failing in my new role and this fuelled the isolation as if I believed that opening up about how I was feeling would make me a bad mother and change others perception of me.
 
So what sort of things can help….or what helped me?
 
Making new mummy friends!
At this stage in your life you need other like-minded people who are also going through the same thing at the same time. This was a godsend to me and after my first the group of ladies I became friends with were an incredible support to me and will always be friends I will carry close to my heart. We spent most days together during maternity leave, drinking coffee, going to the park and to playgroups and occasionally drinking far too many cocktails in our favourite little bar in West Didsbury (without the babies of course).  With my second baby I joined NCT classes and met another amazing group of ladies. We have a Whatsapp group and in the early days would chat in the middle of the night when we were up feeding. Just knowing someone else was up at the same time put a smile on my face and was really comforting. Talking to each other about the daily struggles you are facing can make you feel so much better.
 
Get out!
Sitting at home all day is great on some days but going for a walk, or braving a baby group on your own is great for both you and your baby and a great way of meeting other mums. It’s not always easy when you have other children and therefore other responsibilities but sitting at home getting stressed about all the things you need to do isn’t going to do you any good so getting out will help you forget about many of those worries.
 
Take a nap
Catching up on lost sleep is a necessity. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture and a quick 30 minute nap ill make all the difference if you can.
 
Accept help
Accepting help from others can be hard at times, especially if you are a proud person, but noone finds motherhood a walk in the park, no matter what it looks like from the outside. So if a family member or friend offers help then take it. You will feel better for it.
 
Talking
Talk to someone. A problem shared is a problem halved, or so they say. It may not always solve the problem, but talking to someone about how you are feeling can instantaneously lift your mood. Sometimes just getting everything off your chest can make you feel less alone in your own mind. Being honest with other mothers is so much more beneficial than pretending to be on top of everything all of the time and you will be more respected for you honesty. As much as we all want to be super-mum all of the time, 99% of the time it isn’t possible, so be kind to yourself and look after yourself. A happy mum will mean a happy home and family.xxx

However if none of the above help then it is really important to seek other support sooner rather than later. As well as talking to your midwife or GP there are other organisations that can help, such as PANDAS, Mind and APNI (Association for Postnatal Illness) or have a look on the NHS website for more information. 
 

Things are getting really busy here at NC Hopes Photography. I was worried after nearly a year off after having my daughter that it would take time to build things back up, but it’s happened a lot quicker than I anticipated! I’ve been beavering away and it’s paying off!  I plan to write a blog in the next few weeks about how to best prepare for a Newborn Photography Session and I hope to give you come insight on how Newborn and Baby Photography sessions run.
Below are some beautiful images of baby Lucy during her newborn session. Lucy came in to the studio in January and was super awake during her session…although you can’t tell from these images! I met her lovely mummy, daddy and big sister Lily in 2016 when they booked in for a Family Photography Session which we did at Bramhall Park, Stockport. Mummy, Tine is also a photographer so it was lovely that coming from her background she chose to have her photos done with us. She clearly has good taste and an artistic eye…haha!

*MARCH AND APRIL AVAILABILITY*
I now have limited availability for newborn sessions during March and April and May is booking up quick so if you would like an appointment please contact me as soon possible.
If your baby is already here then don’t panic I can still do newborns up until 10 weeks. The earlier the sessions are done the better obviously, the optimal time being up to 3 weeks. Don’t worry though, I can still get some beautiful images past this stage though.

People are also already booking in for Spring and Summer Lifestyle and Family Photography sessions so if this is more your style then these always make great photos. There are so many great locations in the local area such as Bramhall Park, Macclesfield Forest, The Carrs in Wilmslow and Lyme Park. It may be that you and your family have a particular place that is special to you so please get in touch to discuss further!
 
You can use the ‘Book Now’ button above or contact me at nchopesphotography@outlook.com to book. Alternatively, you can also message me via Facebook.
Nikki x

.A little share of this beautiful newborn baby boy’s session here in Cheadle Hulme, Stockport. As a newborn photographer I have always asked parents in advance about colour choices for their sessions but more recently I have been sending out pre-shoot questionnaires. This gives parents the opportunity to ask questions as well as plan for their sessions in advance.  Often if parents don’t know the sex of their baby yet they will specify on the questionnaire what colours they would like to use in the event of a boy/girl. The questionnaire also helps them to plan for the use of certain props and whether or not they want family or sibling photographs as well. Often people choose colours that they know will complement the nursery they are decorating or the colour scheme of their home. 

This particular session was creams, whites and navy blues. I was telling Mum how much I loved the whites and creams against his skin during William’s newborn session but when she mentioned how lovely navy blue was on him….I was stunned by the results. For a newborn baby William had the most beautiful complexion with lots of dark hair….perfection! 

If you are looking to book a baby portrait photography session here in the Cheadle Hulme, Bramhall area then please don’t hesitate to contact Nikki either via email at nchopesphotography@outlook.com or via our Contact Form. I have families booked in from all over the Stockport and Cheshire areas including Poynton, Cheadle, Wilmslow, Hazel Grove and The Heatons to name a few. If always recommend booking your session in after your 20 week scan to ensure I have availability around your due date.  

A little share of this beautiful newborn baby boy’s session here in Cheadle Hulme, Stockport. As a newborn photographer I have always asked parents in advance about colour choices for their sessions but more recently I have been sending out pre-shoot questionnaires. This gives parents the opportunity to ask questions as well as plan for their sessions in advance.  Often if parents don’t know the sex of their baby yet they will specify on the questionnaire what colours they would like to use in the event of a boy/girl. The questionnaire also helps them to plan for the use of certain props and whether or not they want family or sibling photographs as well. Often people choose colours that they know will complement the nursery they are decorating or the colour scheme of their home. 

This particular session was creams, whites and navy blues. I was telling Mum how much I loved the whites and creams against his skin during William’s newborn session but when she mentioned how lovely navy blue was on him I was stunned by the results. For a newborn baby William had such an amazing complexionmatched with lots of dark hair….perfection! 

If you are looking to book a baby portrait photography session here in the Cheadle Hulme, Bramhall area then please don’t hesitate to contact Nikki either via email at nchopesphotography@outlook.com or via our Contact Form. I have families booked in from all over the Stockport and Cheshire areas including Poynton, Cheadle, Wilmslow, Hazel Grove and The Heatons to name a few. If always recommend booking your session in after your 20 week scan to ensure I have availability around your due date.  

How do I balance NC Hopes Photography vs real life? Do I balance work vs. life?? Having my own photography business in Cheadle, Stockport is challenging. I try to find a good balance but most weeks I probably don’t do so very well and my face probably looks just like my son’s above when I think the question over in my head. If you ask him he will say I am always on the computer or always on the phone. Mostly he is right and it breaks my heart he is old enough to recognise this. I put aside time to spend with him…even just this week as it’s half term….yet I still find myself getting drawn back to the computer, having to send emails, return enquiries or write a blog….and that’s whilst trying to have a week off whilst he is off school. BAD MUM I hear you say!

The balance with parenting, work life and home life feels impossible for most of us right?? Every day we muddle through and do the best we can, beating ourselves up in the process that we didn’t get it right…feeling guilty about what we could have done better or how we did or didn’t handle a situation. We should pat ourselves on the back more often though and tell ourselves that we are doing a good job and that it’s okay not to be a perfect person all the time or the perfect parent. After all, is there such a thing? 

When I took a leap of faith to start up the business I was scared, petrified even that it wouldn’t take off or work out. I think I probably had my head in the clouds about how things would roll….I would advertise, I would get clients, I would earn money. Simples.

Simples not.

Hard work…if not obsession was required and hard work and obsession was what went and still goes in. But I feel like I’m finding that flow now. I’m starting to realise that it isn’t a race to an end point, but instead a journey I am on….and which I am learning on all the time, building knowledge and growing with every mistake I make.
 
I found this great diagram online today and I think it sums it up quite well what the reality of being a Photographer is vs. the perception.
 
What People think Photographers Do VS. What Photographers Actually Do

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All those who are photographers will be well aware that photography is not your usual 9-5 job. You are always thinking about work….emailing in the evening or editing not to mention brainstorming and putting together ideas for your next session as well as trying to control your prop buying habits!! Your mind constantly wanders to work. The reality for a single person to manage all the above can be daunting. Some weeks I feel totally overwhelmed trying to cover every base, but then I meet the most amazing family who have come for a Newborn session and I totally realise why I love doing what I do. I love everything about my photography business, the families I meet, the babies I get to cuddle, the flexibility that can come with having your own business. I think time and experience is teaching me that I need to now focus on time management, particularly with having young children of my own. Having time out and prioritising better to find that happy medium and to make things ‘flow’ a lot better at home! I’m not sure about you but my house often looks like it has been ransacked twice over and when you work from home that can be a huge distraction. It’s fine on the days when I am editing and don’t have shoots booked in, but my goodness I don’t half get myself in a flap when cleaning up after the kids in the morning whilst trying to get set up. However everyone with their own business will have their own way of managing their time and personal vs work life. Amanda from Amanda Haddow Photography is a newborn photographer in Victoria, BC. Please take a look at her site to find out how she manages her business and personal life. Click here for her blog.    
I will leave you with the following thought this evening guys, thanks for reading….